Showing posts from March, 2015

Non-24-hour living

As far back as I can remember, I always had trouble getting up in the morning... and no trouble staying up during the night. During the years I went to school - and the brief time in my late teens when I actually worked in an office - having to get up in the morning was, without exception, horrendous. It was due to the experience of these years that I thought I hated mornings, and it took me a while to realize I really don't. I actually love being up and alert when the sun is rising, with the streets still calm as night, when nobody is yet up. I really don't mind getting up at that time, either. I just absolutely can't handle a 24-hour sleep cycle. Early in my twenties, I started to become less dependent on other people's schedules, but I still tried to keep a 24-hour sleep cycle, because that's what you are supposed to do. I would still try to get up at about the same time every day, but the time kept slipping. Getting up at 10 am turned to getting up at 10:15,

Fair and unfair agreements

In economic terms, an agreement can happen where both parties extract value from the arrangement. A fair agreement is where both parties extract proportionally similar value. An unfair agreement is when one party has few alternatives, so the other party can negotiate terms such as to capture most of the value. If you deal fairly with people, you will offer them agreements that provide them with proportional value. You will do so even when you could negotiate them into terms that are much better for you than for them. Walmart could be considered an entity that extracts all the value in their agreements with employees, because the counterparty has very limited other options. These are consensual agreements, but they aren't fair. Making such agreements is legal; but that doesn't get you off the hook as a scumbag. Many countries have legal requirements which attempt to ensure that certain types of agreements - especially in employment - are not only consensual, but fair. Thi

People cheat in lose/lose situations

The internets are full of condemnation for cheaters, and I often feel like I'm the only person tilting at the windmills of hatred against them. Cheating is wrong. It's not the upstanding thing to do. It's an attempt to eat your cake, and have it too. If you're in a relationship where you're going to cheat, then you shouldn't have entered it in the first place. If you desire to experience intimacy that the rules of your relationship do not allow, there are two proper and upstanding alternatives: either to abstain, and reject temptation; or to confront your partner, and let the chips fall where they may. This could mean ending the relationship, or relaxing the rules. (Or often, relaxing the rules, and then ending. That's how open relationships acquire a bad reputation; when closed relationships make their last-ditch efforts to save themselves by opening up, and can't.) The thing is - when people cheat, we tend to judge them way too much. We vilify th

Self-confidence and crazy men

People value men based on self-confidence we project. The thing is, a man without self-confidence isn't perceived as weak . He's perceived as scary . Statistically and physiologically, men are a gender of anger and violence, much more so than women (who are dangerous in more subtle ways). If you lack self-confidence, it sends a signal that you don't know what to do with your raw power. You're prone to misuse it, you're prone to act out, you're prone to do something dangerous - hurt someone or yourself, potentially - because you aren't at ease with yourself. A confident man is attractive because he projects safety. Not just safety from others, or safety from external circumstance; but safety from his own whims and impulses. If he's self-confident, it means he's more likely to respond appropriately to situations. It means he's less likely to lash out; less likely to be a source of harm. Being attractive, as a man, is largely about assuring a