Parking law abuse in Miami

If you ever park a car in Miami, you may want to know that the Miami-Dade County cares a lot - in fact, it cares $23 - whether your car is parked this way:

... or this way:

Unfortunately, I was unaware of this factoid.

So, this past night, as my wife and I were contributing to the local economy by having dinner out in South Miami, eating sushi in the belief that our car is correctly and legally parked, officer "Y Isidor" took a look at our car, and after glancing briefly, decided that our mutual evening would be greatly improved if he issued this lovely request for us to help top up the Miami-Dade County budget:

And this is after I put all my coins in the parking meter, to make sure it would not run out - because, unlike many people I know, I actually care about correct parking.

So I logged on to the net tonight to find out more about how stationary vehicles can be deemed to be "parked against traffic", and I found the following opinions, gracefully provided by the internet:
You are parking the wrong way and when you leave the parking spot you will have to drive the wrong way, for a short time, against traffic.
Everybody I issue a ticket to thinks they should have gotten a warning... Give me a break, if I read your post right; you drove on the wrong side of the road, parked against the direction of traffic and now you think you should have gotten a warning.

These are obviously incredibly intelligent individuals whose mental powers must surpass mine. These gentlemen are able to see the recklessness and danger in my briefly positioning my vehicle to occupy the opposite lane before parking, as well as the incredible daftness of crossing that lane again when I exit the parking space.

We have only the stars to thank for such useless bozos insightful individuals who make the world a better place by issuing citations to people who've paid their parking.


verbatim said…
Ha ha, what a stupidity. And at 10PM when there is no traffic.

Give me a break, if I read your post right; you drove on the wrong side of the road, parked against the direction of traffic

Like if a driver is not briefly driving on the wrong side of the road when turning at intersection or turning around his vehicle. Not to mention driving around stopped car/barrier on the road or overtaking a car.
denis bider said…

I'm not sure whether most of the stupidity here is the police officer's, or the supervisors', or the lawmakers'. But let me illustrate the consequences of this ticket.

This was on a Friday night, and we had a flight back home next morning.

Ours was a rental car, so if I didn't pay the ticket myself, I would end up paying 5 times the amount eventually charged to my credit card. It would be double for the ticket itself, and an additional penalty from rental car company.

Furthermore, I don't know if rental companies record this sort of incident, or possibly hold it against you in rates or insurance, so it seemed possibly wiser to pay it myself.

Now, the Miami Dade County kindly offers a website where you can pay using Mastercard or VISA, but I only have American Express. So that doesn't work out.

They also have an option to pay in person, but their office hours are Mon-Fri, and my flight leaves the next day.

Finally, there's the option to pay by cheque or money order.

So I spent pretty much the entire time from 11 PM to 3 AM first researching how money orders work, and then trying to find a store that will sell it to me.

Of all the stores I tried, a 7/11 seemed most promising, but they don't sell money orders before 6:30 AM for "security reasons".

Since I also had to pack, I pretty much had an entire night without sleep before our flight, just because an officer was being anal retentive.

I'm not sure what the proper karma retribution is for him or her, but I think he or she should spend a sleepless night, or two, scrubbing my toilet, or something.
Anonymous said…
same just happend to me and my neighbors and we are parked in front of our homes!! on our piece of property on the lawn

seems miami Beach is desperate for income
that is unheared off!
RedPawz said…
Absolutely preposterous. Especially in hard times when local businesses need all the patronage they get.

I dread driving up to visit relatives in Florida. One never knows what arse-backwards new law the local councils pass.
Anonymous said…
BTW Someone should send this blog entry to the more vocal county papers. It just might be a slow news day! :)
simon said…
Give me a break, if I read your post right; you drove on the wrong side of the road, parked against the direction of traffic

Hmmm, so if the road has two lanes, and I am driving on the lane in the opposite direction of the free parking spot, I have a choice to turn the car around or to just park the car in the opposite direction. According to this extremely intelligent people, it is safer to cross both lines probably three times, turn the car around and park in the "right" direction? Because, believe me, I will not go to the nearest crossing and turn the car around, if the first option seems safe and doable to me.
denis bider said…
Simon, yup, exactly. :)

Popular posts from this blog

When monospace fonts aren't: The Unicode character width nightmare

VS 2015 projects: "One or more errors occurred"

Thoughts on Bitcoin - and why I cashed out of BTC at $18k