2014-08-19

Extraordinary knowing

Some time in 2001 or 2002 was the last time when I was near-broke. By that, I mean that my expenses closely matched my income, and I had to pay close attention to how much I was spending, when, and on what. This wasn't unusual at my age, at the time. I was 21 - 22, doing odd jobs as a software developer, and my business hadn't yet taken off.

But this one time during those years, I laid in bed in my rented apartment; I was about to receive a payment for some work I'd done, and the thought came across my mind, "This is the last time you'll be lacking money." It was one of those rare thoughts that feel subtly foreign; as if another entity whispered it to me in my mind. It felt like a kind entity, and a reassuring thought. I was incredulous, unsure if I should believe it. I had no way to know how the future was going to turn out. But I felt strangely confident. I wanted to trust that my luck in life was going to turn up.

It did. That was the last time my expenses consumed my income.

And... I don't think it's so much that I knew it - as it is that I was told.

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